The First Speech

Posted: August 10, 2013 in Rantings
Tags: , , , ,

“Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.”

— ——– Niccolo Machiavelli

 

Yesterday, I came home all tired and switched on T.V. and got glued to the movie “Gippi” which is a story about an girl who is fat, not so good looking, lazy and not at all good in studies, do something and that entire journey of adolescence made me think about my school days. But there was one part when she accepts challenge of Shamira; the queen-bee of the school who bullies her; to stand against her in elections for Head Girl. That particular part, especially when Gippi is to give her first speech for elections reminded me of the first speech of my life.

Back in 2007, in the month of July or something, my name was put in by a teacher for elections where I was to stand for being House Captain of my Green Group. At that time in school, I was not that confident, never participated in any competitions or events, lazy, scared, laid back, stupid, -always-feel-that-everyone-is-better-than-me kind of a guy. I had hardly participated except when some of the few friends that I had, asked me to. Although, 2007-2008 belong to those golden years for my personal growth where I had big rises and shameful downfalls; where I spoke to people 500 times more than I spoke before 2007. In spite of that, I still had no stage experience. After an amazing speech by the boy who was competing me in election; I stepped and reached dias with a paper where I had my speech written which was made by one of my friend burning midnight oil. As soon as I stepped in, a huge roar went up and people started clapping. Well, that was encouraging and I also felt nice for a second that a year of popularity in school was more deeply penetrated than what I had initially thought; the next second I felt numb and I forgot my speech and got all panicked. It was my first time; the blood rushed in; I almost lost my voice and my feet started trembling. It was as if I was in a situation where I hoped for earth to tear apart and eat me up. I wanted to run, or rewind this time and get me another chance, I looked around and saw expectant eyes of teachers, smirking faces of opponents, blank or clueless faces of everybody in the crowd and I had tears in my eyes. In those milliseconds, I wished for tsunami, tornado or even asteroid falling on me. I tried to look into the paper and speak a few words but my vocal box thought of disowning me and nothing came outside my mouth. I felt like slapping myself there itself or just go third floor of my school and jump. Finally, I regained some voice and managed to say thank you and left.

Such a humiliation !! When I reached home, I spoke to no one; ran inside the bedroom; jumped to the bed and lied down crying. I asked mom to stay away and not bother me. It was after 5 hours, I came out of my room and narrated the incident. I was wondering if I should show my face to anyone in school again. I wondered if anyone would even vote for a weak, idiot and dumbfounded guy. That time, winning was not that important, I wanted to just erase that moment of my life. I called up a friend and just cried again.

In the movie ‘Gippi’, she couldn’t give the speech as well, it was her first time too and she gave a dance performance on “Chahe koi mujhe junglee kahe” where while dancing her uniform tears and she runs away in embarrassment, only to come back after a bit of encouragement from someone, reaches the dias and gives an amazing speech saying that even though she is not perfect; she is one of them and she has her own set of failures and set backs. She gets a huge round of applause and eventually she wins. Even with my fiasco, I saw myself winning by more than 80% votes that time.

Last night when I was about to sleep, I traveled through memories and realized one thing; what people want or need is someone who is one of them. With whom they can share or be without feeling low or unsuitable. At the end, no one cares what you own or have or can do; unless they have vested interest on you or want you to do something for them. A true friend will become or will stay only when you can be accessible, be one of what his comfort level requires. Most of the friendships; even those friendships that takes birth through common enmity is because of the commonness and humbleness and not greatness. Because everyone faces the same thing, just that their situations are different or time is different but effectiveness of every test of life is same. It is only and only on us, how to be reachable. I would like to end it up by saying this:-

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

Source: Google Images

Source: Google Images

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