Posts Tagged ‘Friendship’

While trying to get sleep, I hopped into Twitter at 2 am when I indulged in a conversation with a friend over Companionship and Relationship. I would surely paste down the conversation down but before that, I would like to know what do you think over these two terms? Do you feel they are the same? Do you feel they have a difference and if yes, what is it? What would you prefer?

I would love to see all of you commenting over it to give me more perceptions towards it. So let me start with what I believe this to be. Companionship is somewhat like a romantic-platonic-friendship model. Not necessarily involving lust, maybe having no iota of sex in it contrary to popular belief of it being nothing but Friends with Benefits. My understanding doesn’t concur to this fact. Companionship in a precise description would be a romantic friendly relationship without any commitment, full of freedom, however, beholding strong sense of trust and understanding. Full freedom wouldn’t mean you have such relationships with so many people but you having liberty to try, explore, experience anything in your life without being answerable or accountable.

Whereas relationships would include being answerable, being committed, being accountable. Relationships would give a sense of security which companionship lacks. Companionship sounds the most suitable for people who are drowned into studies, work, family commitments and barely have time to keep up with relationships. Relationships are more expected or imagined to be like fairy tales. Companionship is based on deep understanding between two individuals.

This is something that I understand it to be or I prefer it to be like and I would really like to know what do you’ll think about this concept and here I paste down my entire conversation of that night. 😀


I believe we have passed through the era where fear could contain us. More often, fear, especially these days, makes us rebel or succumb to a living shell. As they say, “First impression is the last impression”, a child usually remembers the first thing what they see which is the atmosphere of his house, behavior of his parents who are usually the first ones that reaches his soul. I am not a parent yet but now when I have stepped into my adulthood, when challenges of adulthood blaze on me, when life throws lemons at me, I have realized how parenting helped me be calm at the helm of adversity, keep patience when things go wrong and work harder every time I fail rather than quitting because it didn’t happen at the first shot.

I came across this term, “Buddy Parenting” which got me ponder over past, ponder over discussions I’ve had with my friends, ponder over my friends whom I have motivated and pondered over those incidents when I was being motivated. I think for every person, their first set of friends, first source of inspiration is their parents which would also include their siblings. Maximum time of our growing up is shared with them and we, humans, tend to absorb the maximum out of our surroundings. As we grow up, the time spent at home goes reducing with increase in school hours, tuition hours and playing hours. Now, we have technologies which reduce our family time to as much time as take to have shower. While we get entangled in this new phase, the ones who become close to us is our friends. That’s when parenting gets tested. The tender child, who is just developing maturity, has all its trust put on the person with whom he spends his life with. He would start believing what his peers do and debate/discard all that he learnt from his parents. Conflict of roles renders a child to believe that parents, just like any other elder human, is only to respect but not trust. Trust gets associated to friends and you start sharing every personal aspect of your life with them, who are as less matured as you.

This is the time Buddy Parenting becomes important. The very fact of becoming a buddy while the child grows makes him believe/consider you as friend even when he starts making new ones. The trust and bond that he shares with new friends would be of the same nature he shares with you. The parent will still be a go-to friend and he would share everything happening in his life. As the child grows, the influences, the hormones, the understanding and the misunderstanding keeps expanding. Parents often miss out on the date and find their child on a wrong path which leads to scolding/grounding and eventual loss of trust. The child starts hiding and lying and there goes everything in toss. Buddy Parenting is when the parents would be able to correct at the right time.

Today, it reminds me of the time when I wept after coming home after an embarrassing moment of being tongue tied in an elocution, my parents shared their embarrassing stories. Some were cooked up but at that time, it made me laugh and think that I was not alone. It reminds of the time when I did too well and started gloating that they would start discussing over dinner how someone had a big fall after such a giant success that indirectly got me to ground. I don’t think I was ever scolded but was always had them laughing at my follies or simply disapproving what I did, just as our friends always do. We don’t really have buddies shouting at us right? They always indulge in conversations. If I wouldn’t study, they would simply stay awake and work late night indirectly telling me the importance of finishing work on time. Every mistake of mine was countered by an indirect inspiration and not direct conversations about do’s and don’ts and then with them, I’d sit at night and finish my homework. As Robert Brault puts it, “As parents, we guide by our unspoken example. It is only when we’re talking to them that our kids aren’t listening.”

Fear Parenting was always a success in the olden age where a child had a limited access to his world. Today, where we are connected to even a person sitting in Alaska from Mumbai, the very fear gets obsolete. However, I don’t mean that there shouldn’t be any level of authority to be exercised. Parents need to balance the line so that the kid would still stay in control. There’s a difference between functional role and emotional role and one can’t be on a single side. Both the sides got to have proportions. I don’t call for a buddy buddy parenting. What I press on is responsible buddy parenting.



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Sayonara …

Posted: July 16, 2014 in Free Hugs :')
Tags: , , ,

“I guess that’s what saying good-bye is always like–like jumping off an edge. The worst part is making the choice to do it. Once you’re in the air, there’s nothing you can do but let go.”
― Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall

Just yesterday I broke the ice after a 7 month vacation from Blogging .. To be honest, If I look back at life past one year, It was practically nothing. I returning from Chennai, long hours of work, being alone on assignments, new to a lot of exposures, prolonged sickness that kept going undetected followed by hospitalization, bed rest and 5 months of study schedule coupled with new found deep interest in Indian Polity.

12 months .. fresh from a long gap of vaccum, just when I recovered with everything slowly falling into place, I am going to get another vaccum. Someone who has been one of the closest friend who also shared my professional space is going to leave. Situations like these are tough to deal, both feeling happy as well as sad would get you a huge guilt. I am happy that he is attaining freedom, getting into what he would love to do, stepping to a better life but sad too, not just because he won’t be there now but most of my past is clouded with people too close to me going as much far after a shift from the phase.

Well, anyways, this is life as they say, people come and go. All I trust is, some people would stay, no matter what and I am sure he would too. But even if he wouldn’t, it is better I remember him and smile otherwise it would be better to forget than to remember and feel bad. There isn’t much purpose to why I am writing this, may be I wanted to just speak out. Probably he is on his way to become a Journalist, let’s hope you and I get to see him feature in Corporate Dossiers or CNBCs in a year or two.

Sayonara brother .. Have a great new life from tomorrow .. “SHAM” will never break apart and we 3 will join you soon in conquest of eternal bliss, Amen. 🙂

Source: Google Images [Term Searched: Simpson Brothers]

And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.

                                                                                   —   Kurt Vonnegut

21 .. What an age for a boy ! All of a sudden, he will turn into a Man, responsibilities and expectations will increase, presentation of self will get utmost importance and first step of achieving dreams will touch the feet or be as near to be able to see with naked eye. But don’t you think there is more to this age?

It’s a time when all that you planned for your future gets a reality check. You realize nothing is butter and honey and there is perseverance and hard work required in all. Where you don’t know with whom you are competing and all those lessons of school to study your opponent goes waste because you never come to know who is going to battle you in the race of life. Where you realize that popularity and influence of your fathers, forefathers, uncles and friends of all the three will get you anywhere as easily  as making Maggi. Where you understand being nice and pleasing to everyone is so important and where it is difficult to judge who is talking shit behind your back. All those friends with whom you dreamt of ruling or at least being a celebrity in this world have disappeared soon after your farewell and graduation and inspirational and encouraging stories that you were always exposed to changes to stories of failure.

It’s a time when you realize that what will fetch you the goose that lays golden eggs was nothing but a facade created by people who themselves lie in order to safeguard their image and hide their self-defeating feeling. It’s a time when you realize that you have to sweat as much as your friend who celebrated all 5 years of college life unlike the sincerity that you kept. It’s that time when you realize that your job is not as expected by you and you won’t change your path for betterment for starting from scratch will scare your balls. It’s the time when you scroll through social networking websites, not to socialize but to check how much fun your friends are having. It’s that time when you will constantly compare yourself with your friends or your life with the life of your parents when they were young.

It’s that time when your heart gets broken and you wonder how can someone, whom you love so much do this to you.  It’s a time when you love one girl and then you fall in love with another girl. You feel sick because you are a good guy and you need to be serious on one. It’s a time when you would talk to yourself that you will have a better girl besides you in couple of years than the girl your friend has now and pacify yourself. Then again, you will feel sick of considering girl as a trophy and kicking love to backseat. Then you will get serious on love and go close to someone only to find that the lovee has already got someone in her life and you will fail as a lover once again. It’s that time when you will start looking at relationships in a different manner. One night stands or short hook ups and flings will make you feel tacky and you would seek long term or serious relationships. It’s that time when you will question if the person you have been with for such a long time is really worth it or it’s the time when you wonder if its too late to make a decision of getting done with.  It’s a time when suddenly you will see your age female friends declaring engagements or marriage and wonder how old you have become. It’s that time when you would halt for a second and look at a second year degree student and wonder how different you’ll look and then again sulk on how old you have become because they look as same as you.

It’s a time when your music taste will change. It’s a time when you will get frustrated of your own habit of procrastinating health and wellness of body, actually shape of physique. It’s that time when you will still lose on your promises to study as same as how you used to lose when you were a kid. It’s that time when all the lessons you learnt as a kid will be challenged and every day outside will make you feel that the world is going to dogs. It’s that time when you realize the world is selfish and all those friends you called best friends aren’t really that good and many of them that came and left your life were really good. You realize that someone you thought of it as a bitch is not really a bitch but then no one will do anything because everyone would be stuck in same doldrums as you.

It’s that time when you will laugh and cry in extremes. You will get scared or feel helpless or totally lonely. It’s that time when you will feel like running out of your house and hug that one person which matters most to you but then sleep with wet eyes that the person who is important to you, doesn’t feel the same for you. You question yourself if what you are doing is really worth it. You get more of such questions and have the same conversations with every friend time and again because you are in search of a conclusion which you won’t get because unknowingly everyone is suffering through the same phase.

You worry about the King Size Life, you always dreamt of. You start understanding the value for money and start wondering how would you build the foundation of coming phases of life. It’s that time when change is needed and when a change approaches, it scares you inside out and makes you cling to the past which has already flown away. It’s that time when you keep pondering over and try to clear this mess in your head. It’s the age where you have sudden intense fear of failure. It’s the age where everyday you will leave the house with basket full of expectations only to return home with all expectations unfulfilled followed by your lecture to yourself on ceasing to expect. It’s the age of 21 and somehow, somewhere, everyone of us is going through same emotions at some point or the other.

Source: Google Images

Source: Google Images