Posts Tagged ‘Heart Break’

And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.

                                                                                   —   Kurt Vonnegut

21 .. What an age for a boy ! All of a sudden, he will turn into a Man, responsibilities and expectations will increase, presentation of self will get utmost importance and first step of achieving dreams will touch the feet or be as near to be able to see with naked eye. But don’t you think there is more to this age?

It’s a time when all that you planned for your future gets a reality check. You realize nothing is butter and honey and there is perseverance and hard work required in all. Where you don’t know with whom you are competing and all those lessons of school to study your opponent goes waste because you never come to know who is going to battle you in the race of life. Where you realize that popularity and influence of your fathers, forefathers, uncles and friends of all the three will get you anywhere as easily  as making Maggi. Where you understand being nice and pleasing to everyone is so important and where it is difficult to judge who is talking shit behind your back. All those friends with whom you dreamt of ruling or at least being a celebrity in this world have disappeared soon after your farewell and graduation and inspirational and encouraging stories that you were always exposed to changes to stories of failure.

It’s a time when you realize that what will fetch you the goose that lays golden eggs was nothing but a facade created by people who themselves lie in order to safeguard their image and hide their self-defeating feeling. It’s a time when you realize that you have to sweat as much as your friend who celebrated all 5 years of college life unlike the sincerity that you kept. It’s that time when you realize that your job is not as expected by you and you won’t change your path for betterment for starting from scratch will scare your balls. It’s the time when you scroll through social networking websites, not to socialize but to check how much fun your friends are having. It’s that time when you will constantly compare yourself with your friends or your life with the life of your parents when they were young.

It’s that time when your heart gets broken and you wonder how can someone, whom you love so much do this to you.  It’s a time when you love one girl and then you fall in love with another girl. You feel sick because you are a good guy and you need to be serious on one. It’s a time when you would talk to yourself that you will have a better girl besides you in couple of years than the girl your friend has now and pacify yourself. Then again, you will feel sick of considering girl as a trophy and kicking love to backseat. Then you will get serious on love and go close to someone only to find that the lovee has already got someone in her life and you will fail as a lover once again. It’s that time when you will start looking at relationships in a different manner. One night stands or short hook ups and flings will make you feel tacky and you would seek long term or serious relationships. It’s that time when you will question if the person you have been with for such a long time is really worth it or it’s the time when you wonder if its too late to make a decision of getting done with.  It’s a time when suddenly you will see your age female friends declaring engagements or marriage and wonder how old you have become. It’s that time when you would halt for a second and look at a second year degree student and wonder how different you’ll look and then again sulk on how old you have become because they look as same as you.

It’s a time when your music taste will change. It’s a time when you will get frustrated of your own habit of procrastinating health and wellness of body, actually shape of physique. It’s that time when you will still lose on your promises to study as same as how you used to lose when you were a kid. It’s that time when all the lessons you learnt as a kid will be challenged and every day outside will make you feel that the world is going to dogs. It’s that time when you realize the world is selfish and all those friends you called best friends aren’t really that good and many of them that came and left your life were really good. You realize that someone you thought of it as a bitch is not really a bitch but then no one will do anything because everyone would be stuck in same doldrums as you.

It’s that time when you will laugh and cry in extremes. You will get scared or feel helpless or totally lonely. It’s that time when you will feel like running out of your house and hug that one person which matters most to you but then sleep with wet eyes that the person who is important to you, doesn’t feel the same for you. You question yourself if what you are doing is really worth it. You get more of such questions and have the same conversations with every friend time and again because you are in search of a conclusion which you won’t get because unknowingly everyone is suffering through the same phase.

You worry about the King Size Life, you always dreamt of. You start understanding the value for money and start wondering how would you build the foundation of coming phases of life. It’s that time when change is needed and when a change approaches, it scares you inside out and makes you cling to the past which has already flown away. It’s that time when you keep pondering over and try to clear this mess in your head. It’s the age where you have sudden intense fear of failure. It’s the age where everyday you will leave the house with basket full of expectations only to return home with all expectations unfulfilled followed by your lecture to yourself on ceasing to expect. It’s the age of 21 and somehow, somewhere, everyone of us is going through same emotions at some point or the other.

Source: Google Images

Source: Google Images



Posted: September 5, 2013 in Rantings
Tags: , , ,


She cried from her heart and that sadness had taken a toll on her body. Her eyes were swollen which spoke about how she spent last few days. She missed him and why wouldn’t she? She fought against everyone; not even sparing her own friends; all because she had faith in him. She probably loved him but was far from being obsessed to achieve him. She wanted his happiness and she wanted him around. She wanted her life to be spent with him around her. All the sacrifice and all the love showered and today he isn’t talking to her because his girlfriend asked him to.

I had no clue what to tell her. I myself had gone through this give-it-all-and-get-a-kick-at-the-end phase. I wanted to pacify her; make her smile and get over it. I knew it is tough; I have been suffering in this pain for years but today I had to say something and I couldn’t. All I could do was give her my shoulders to cry and sit besides her; almost about to cry.

It was a mutual sharing of grief. It was the same plight. We both sat there; looking at the shore; imagining the serene sea to be a screen which played our past like a black and white movie. There was no sound around except that of waves hitting the shore, but to us, there was a painful background score.

Source: Google Images

Source: Google Images


This book has a SOUND TRACK !!

With “The Homing Pigeons”, Sid Bahri has touched the hearts of many people who have read this book. A book par excellence for a debutante where he depicted stories of two individuals which eventually entwines itself after series of difficulties and problems they go through. Like the ending of the book specifies; the homing pigeons have an uncanny ability to find their mate.

Photographed by Maulik Doshi

Photographed by Maulik Doshi


When I read the synopsis of this book, I though of it as another recession love story where one would get broke by losing a job and then parents would come into picture and the girl would be made to marry someone else and then the protagonists will be back to each other to mark a happy ending and give a successful nod to our infamous stereotypical love stories.

However, one would surely not regret reading this book. Although it has the same plot where one loses the job and comes across a downfall from his marriage life to professional life; actually unprofessional as he is already sacked and in later part of the book, parents do come in between and the girl is forced to marry someone else and then in the end they are together; BUT – it is so well drafted, well drifted and well narrated. Even though you may taste the stereotype, you may never be able to predict what comes your way. I applaud at the narrative skills of Mr. Sid Bahri who has written this story from both the perspectives where stories of two individuals – Aditya Sharma and Radhika Kapila have been shown from their eyes and every time a story from Aditya would come to a halt, somehow in a way, the next chapter which shows Radhika narrating starts from the same point, thus giving you a story to be read but also feel the emotions and viewpoints of both the people.

The story revolves around how Aditya Sharma who always loved Radhika from his college days loses her for he is not settled and is only 22 year old which is young, too young to marry and take additional responsibilities. How Radhika leaves him to marry an NRI, returns back after a drab marriage and love story between them starts again when Aditya’s parents convince him by their emotional blackmail technique. How Aditya hurts Radhika and how she runs away again to marry someone else who is really elder to her but eventually dies within 4-5 years of marriage leaving Radhika a huge estate and how Aditya loses job and has a lifeless marriage ends up meeting someone at the bar who changes his life forever. Simultaneously, the story also revolves around Radhika who loved Aditya since college as well and just when things were going right, her parents make her believe that by marrying, she is only ruining Aditya’s future by siphoning him off with additional responsibilities. How she has an unsuccessful marriage for her heart was always with Aditya, how she returns back and how their love story comes back to track when she suddenly faces a very different and rude and crude behaviour of Aditya. Eventually she runs away and marries of a filthy rich elderly man who eventually dies. How she comes back to Delhi and how she undertakes activity to get back to life unless she meets a girl who after her long cameo in the book, makes her end up to come across Aditya.

The start of the book does grab your attention when ex-banker Aditya becomes a Gigolo (male escort) and the mid part of the story does go into philosophies and realities of life where the author takes care of the sensitive issues and values.  The end of the story is too abrupt and makes you feel that it was unnecessary to spoil at the end, the magic that the book created in all those first 315 pages of 318 page book. There was this one line which I loved, may be because of some personal relativity and would like to publish here:-

I stayed there, locked inside, sweating, unsure of who I was hiding from.”



Title:- The Homing Pigeons

Author:- Sid Bahri

Publishers:- Srishti Publishers

Price of the book:- Rs. 150/-

ISBN:- 978-93-80349-91-6

Genre:- Fiction (Romance)

Ratings:- 4/5

Meanwhile, watch this:-


The Homing Pigeons – Not all love stories are perfect, but then, neither are people.

In the middle of the catastrophic 2008 recession, Aditya, a jobless, penniless man meets an attractive stranger in a bar. Little does he know that his life will change forever. 

When Radhika, a young, rich widow, marries off her stepdaughter, little does she know that the freedom she has yearned for is not exactly how she had envisioned it.

They say homing pigeons always come back to their mate, no matter where you leave them on the face of this earth. The Homing Pigeons is the story of love between these two unsuspecting characters as it is of lust, greed, separations, prejudices and crumbling spines.

Lastly, Webastyle has done good justice to the cover and Rishikesh has really composed a beautiful song for the book. 

This book review is a part of “The Readers Cosmos Book Review Program”. To get free books log on to


Jayanand Ukey has scribbled a story which could come to a reader as a short film where two couple who are in deep love gets separated because of a global issue defeating their plans and future and how in an unexpected way, find their way back through each other to live life happily ever after.

              I received this book from Author and cover page really seemed a nice read, the author should really be thankful to Pinaki De for that, not that the book turned out to be a big bore but 198 pages with big fonts was no less than a short read, also can be compared to a long blog post. Whereas the story describes itself a heartwarming tale of love, loss and determination, it comes as a tale where a college love affair which was to be revealed to parents after they are settled with a job comes out to the girl’s parents before they even began their professional journey.

              The story runs as the acceptance by both the parents doesn’t go through much of an hassle when a global financial recession hits them where their offer letter gets revoked. In the time when both the to-be-groom (Girish) and to-be-bride (Prajakta) is without a job, the story revolves around will a father love her daughter to be married to an unemployed man who has no certainty of job as recovery of Stock Market Crash would take a lot of time? Will the girl’s father again consider his best friend’s son who stays in Shimla to wed his daughter as he had always planned when she grew up? How will Girish and Prajakta sail through these turbulent times to again come together? The entire story is way over fiction, too much of a bollywood masala types where the ending goes hushed up and unrealistic. The conversations are forced, not something that will keep you gripped. Parents who are showed to stay in Mumbai use tactics like hiring bodyguards for their daughter to not meet Girish, confiscating cell phone and Internet Dongle;  all of that which doesn’t go well with audience today that anyone would like to ask Mr. Ukey, “What world are we in?”

              It will come to anyone as a debutant work and won’t go well with anyone who is already into a reading hobby. The book is in genre of romance, however, not a single moment will make you blush when they are together or feel the pain when they are separated. I finished the book in one round trip of Churchgate to Andheri getting myself a record to finish a book in 95 minutes. All in one, Its a short story full of drama and expected events without any literary merit.



ISBN – 978-81-8046-085-2

Price – Rs. 175/-

Published by – Alchemy Publishers

My Ratings – 1.5/5

TAGS – A global ordeal —- A couple in distress —- The struggle to keep afloat —- Prudent thinking in tumultuous times.

You can find more about the book and author at Jayanand Ukey’s website.

If you are a reader, do log in to Goodreads, for more info about the book.