Posts Tagged ‘I am an Idiot’

  1. Shout my heart out (and ruin my vocal chords), Run till I start heavily panting (take an auto rickshaw to come back home) and wonder if being a sado-masochist will help? I have reached a point of frustration, irritation, fear, hopelessness and agitation.  Everything resulting out of that one thing – lazyness !!

    While the rat race is something that I don’t want to give in to; rather imagine it as a derby; dress up, bet on other rats and watch yours win. However, everyone around me is doing so well with their preparation for races that you can actually see their promising future and ponder over what will you do then? While people are buying books, attending classes attentively, making notes with hundreds of colors and discussing topics like market and political scenario of the country – I am searching for people who can lend me their notes so that I can complete all those blank pages that resulted because I kept dozing off in classes, putting my hands on books that teach me portfolio management and security analysis so that I can understand and make sense on what people keep discussing around me (You know, I have religiously subscribed for Economic Times for 3 consecutive years and there might not have been more than 3 instances when I would have properly read the newspaper), download news reading applications to keep up with what is happening (more than TOI, The Hindu and HT applications, Twitter has done me good).

    It is not just about academics. I am short of few months from the MOST IMPORTANT EXAM of my life and so I thought of ranking it first in my reasons of annoyance. That day, I was watching Bhaag Milkha Bhaag and I counted that I am around 245 days late of my much promised and determined resolution to run everyday and work out. It is not that I have forgotten, every day when some or the other colleague cracks a joke on my pot belly or every alternate night when my back or leg gets screwed because of fatigue or cramps and my mom shouts at me for being so inactive; I remind myself to find a deeper meaning to my days which have only consisted of office and tuition lately. I have even kept an alarm of 5:50 a.m. which haven’t been changed in spite of me changing phones for 4 times past one and half years. Everyone in my house will wake up to that except me. šŸ˜¦ šŸ˜¦

    Its not that life has become boring, I still meet friends couple of times, go for movies or dinners, have those late night chats and have plans rolling around. But I do not have any answer when people ask me “What’s up with your life” – Maybe, I should answer, everything is down but then they all come to a conclusion that my life has become boring due to overtimes in office or CA or blah blah blah and I feel bored to clear their presumptions. I have not even learnt cooking which was my another resolution and this one is two years old. Well, thanks to Maggi that it makes someone keep heart that he knows at least one thing. I am yet to watch Suits, Entourage and few more sitcoms which is lying in my pen drive since half a year and I am yet to grab Dan Browns, Ayn Rand and other books on my “To read” list. I have already given a break to reviewing for a while now and I am not even communicating to my loved ones on how much I miss them everyday and that I want to meet them. Something is wrong somewhere ! Maybe, I, the over-enthusiastic lazy rat needs a tight slap on his face to re-arrange and re-concile everything that is going wrong, or maybe I don’t know, but I have never known as well !

    Meanwhile, I stumbled upon this tweet —->